haha, I will KEEL for some chicken wangs!

…and now in sports!

Tired of the rising prices from your local dealer? Tired of hiding from the cops and smoking in secret? Try this:

TOKYO (AFP) - An unsuspecting passenger who flew to Tokyo is carrying one million yen’s worth of cannabis compliments of customs authorities after a sniffer dog failed a test, officials said Monday.

An officer at Narita International Airport on Sunday stuffed 142 grams (five ounces) of the drug into the side pocket of a randomly selected black suitcase coming off an overseas flight so that the animal could detect it.

“The dog couldn’t find it and the officer also forgot which bag he put it in,” a customs office spokeswoman said.

“If by some chance passengers find it in their suitcase, we’re asking them to return it,” she said.

The 38-year-old officer was quoted by the spokeswoman as saying: “I knew that using passengers’ bags is prohibited, but I did it because I wanted to improve the sniffer dog’s ability.

I smell a lawsuit coming…. as soon as the nigga comes down off the high and realizes he was setup!

Not that we here at Celebully are the political type or anything but this is just hilariously fucked up.

Hillary Clinton today brought up the assassination of Sen. Robert Kennedy while defending her decision to stay in the race against Barack Obama.

“My husband did not wrap up the nomination in 1992 until he won the California primary somewhere in the middle of June, right? We all remember Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June in California. I don’t understand it,” she said, dismissing calls to drop out.

So in other words, ” I’m sticking in the race cause that nigga’ll probably get shot in June, AHAAAAA”

Hilldawg goes in hard. All homo.

Remember way back when we showed you that video of cops chasing down some robbers and beating them senseless? Well, there was a mixed opinion on whether or not they were justified amongst you little peons, but unlike in the Sean Bell case, the city has actually taken action.

Three of the Philadelphia police officers caught on camera assaulting a number of shooting suspects were fired by the city’s Commissioner. Four other officers will face discliplinary action for their role in the beating that’s sparked nationwide outrage; eight more are scheduled to undergo training for excessive force.

Surprisingly enough, the mayor is coming under fire for taking the above actions. He defends himself in the video above.

Yeah, yeah, I know Hip Hop Heads are homophobic, but you can’t help but laugh here.

Ready for a little people-analysis? The only normal people are the ones laughing. The guy acting like there is no flying penis is obviously a closet homo that has these fantasies often and doesn’t realize it’s actually real this time. The guy who slapped the penis out the sky is clearly a homo that’s been turned down one too many times and now hates men.

Enough psychiatry… enjoy homos.

I know, I know, another dead snitch, but how dumb could this bitch be? What’s worse to me is this dumbass interviewer asking retarded questions. This is a murder, not fucking high school gossip.

Details:

Hoffman, 23, a 2007 Florida State University graduate, was found dead in rural Taylor County early Friday after two men suspected in her kidnapping and robbery led investigators to her body. Murder charges are pending, according to the Tallahassee Police Department.

When Hoffman agreed to help police, she was facing multiple felony charges and was in a diversion program after being caught with more than 20 grams of marijuana, Chief Dennis Jones said in a news conference Friday.

“It is not unusual to have known drug dealers or users offer to assist police in narcotics investigations,” Jones said. “Rachel was no exception.”

She agreed to buy 1,500 pills of ecstasy, 2 ounces of cocaine or crack cocaine and a gun from two men, Andrea J. Green and Deneilo Bradshaw, Jones said. The two were arrested Thursday in Orlando. The purchase was to take place near the northeast Tallahassee park.

“Unfortunately, Rachel chose to ignore precautions established in a previous briefing as well as the direction of her case agent,” Jones said.

For more on the story:

http://www.tallahassee.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080510/NEWS01/805100317

Today’s lesson… well fuck it, just watch the strange CNN video above, and once you’re confused, read below:

HOUSTON, Texas (AP) — Three teenagers were arrested after two of them told police they dug up a secluded grave north of Houston, removed the skull from the coffin and converted it into a marijuana bong.

Police found a grave in the city of Humble that had been disturbed, but were still investigating the rest of the teens’ story, Houston police Sgt. John Chomiak said.

Kevin Wade Jones, 17, and Matthew Richard Gonzalez, 17, both of Kingwood, were arrested Wednesday night and were being held on misdemeanor charges of abuse of a corpse, Chomiak said. The juvenile was referred to the Harris County juvenile justice system.

Yeah, you white people are weeeeeeird….

Step 2: Threaten to commit suicide, then once it’s clear that you were just playing (and trying to get the attention of the whore that dumped you) get fucked up anyway.

Missed step 1?

Looks like it’s not just Whites vs Blacks. This crazy brawl broke out between Blacks & Latinos after tensions rose for a bit:

A fight between rival groups of black and Latino students at Locke High School quickly escalated into a campus-wide melee Friday, with as many as 600 students brawling until police restored calm with billy clubs.

…

“The kids were crazy, running from place to place, jumping on other kids,” said Reggie Smith, the school’s band director, who said he ran to pull his students from the melee. “Some of my kids were crying because they were walking to class with friends and they got jumped.”

Full Article

OK, remember how we said that maybe cops up North don’t need Assault Rifles and shit like the ones in Florida do? Well, thanks to the bank robber who decided to lay into a cop with an Assault Rifle, I can probably see the streets of Philly and NYC flooded with them soon enough.